If I Could Stay
by Dr.D76567
Summary: A month after Tai's unexpected death, the leaderless digidestined are struggling to keep it together. Is there some way that Tai can help his friends through these dark times? Loosely based on the U2 song Stay [Faraway, So Close].
1. Prologue

_**Hello, people. I'm Dr.D76567, a pretty big digimon fanfic fan who has read and reviewed a relatively large amount of Digimon fanfic and has been putting of writing his own fic. Well, here's my first effort, "If I Could Stay,"loosely based off of the U2 song "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" Obviously I'm not Bono (or am I...), so I don't own the song. Furthermore, I'm not Toei, Saban, Disney, or anyone else who owns Digimon. Sooo... don't sue me. Anyway, this is my first fic, so please not too many flames okay? Thanks.**_

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Dear Brother,_

_It has only been one month since that terrible morning, but to me it has seemed like an eternity. On that terrible day when your life was taken away, the eternal courage that I have been blessed with my entire life disappeared along with the life of the one who gave it to me. Every day that has passed by since your unexpected death, I've felt alone without your gentle unconditional love and support guiding me through until nightfall. I try my hardest to be brave, but it's just too hard knowing that I'll never be able to see you again._

_It's not just me, either. The whole team's struggling to stay together without your strong leadership to guide us. Sora is trying her best to be strong, but every day she ends up in tears when she sees or hears anything that even slightly reminds her of you. Matt keeps blaming himself for what happened, even though everyone tries to assure him that it wasn't his fault. I'm really scared for Mimi, too. I'm not quite sure what it is, but she just doesn't seem herself lately, very withdrawn and scared about something._

_The rest of the group is having their problems too. Ever since your death, things have just seemed to go from bad to worse for everybody. Back when we were a team, everything seemed to be so much simpler and work out well. But now…_

_Oh, I wish there were some way that you could help us. I know that's impossible, but I'm sure that everything would work out fine if you were here. But I guess we're going to have to try to go it alone. We all miss you and are still thinking about you and hope to see you again one day._

_Forever loving,_

_Kari_

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Yeah, I'm sorry that was so incredibly short. The prologue needed to be, though. I'll be back soon with the first real chapter. Thanks! **  
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	2. No One Around

_**Hey guys, Dr. D76567 here back with the first real chapter of the story. Thank's to everyone who reviewed the prologue (particularry Dark Qivit, for my first review), I hope that you like this chapter too! Before I go any further I realize that I didn't explain the universe of this story in my first A/N, so I'll do so here. It's the pretty much the same as season 2 except the "30 years later" segment never happened and neither did any of the Sorato scenes (dodges sharp metal objects thrown at screen from Sorato fans). Again, I don't own Digimon or the U2 song Stay (Faraway, So Close!) that I loosely based the story on and quote from for time to time. Okay, that's over with! So on with the story!  
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**Chapter 2: No One Around **_  
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_"Green light, Seven Eleven  
_

_You stop in for a pack of cigarettes_

_You don't smoke, don't even want to _

_I see you check your change"_

It was 3 A.M. as Kari Kamiya lay on top of the covers upon the bottom of a double-leveled bunk bed. Her face was illuminated by the pale moonlight streaming in through the window, the late night sky speckled with the dots of far-off stars. Across her chest lay an open dull-pink book filled with pages and pages of her neat handwriting, slowly moving up and down in synchronization with her deep breath. It was this scene that her brother, Tai was viewing from his current position high above the illuminated skyline of Odaiba.

_'That's my sister for you,'_ he thought to himself in mental response to her most recent entry in the pink book, the letter addressed to him. Slowly, a hint of a small, sad smile formed at the corners of his lips. _'Always one for drama.'_

Taking note of the freshly formed tears on her soft, wet cheeks he reflected that this had been the third time this week that she had cried herself to sleep. It was not the least bit comforting to know that all of her problems (her lack of sleep, loss of appetite and complete and total loss of composure) along with everyone else's current woes were all because of him and his sudden unexpected death. It was even less comforting to know that there was nothing he could do to help them through these times. Back when he was the goggle-headed leader of the Digidestined, he always took it upon himself to feel responsible for what happened to the team, for better or for worse. Whenever they had a problem, they had each other to turn to and it always worked out right in the end. However, Tai didn't like the thought of being responsible for all of his friends' recent troubles and not being able to help in any way.

_'Why'd it all have to turn out this way?'_ he mentally asked himself. _'Why did I have to leave everyone behind? Why do I have to be the sole reason behind everyone's problems and not be able to do anything about it? Why couldn't I have stayed just a little bit longer?'_

"WHY, DAMNIT WHY?" Angry tears slid down his face. He hadn't meant to yell like that, but what did it matter? It wasn't like there was anyone around to hear him where he was. And even if there were, as far as he knew the only people who could hear the dead speak were locked away in yellow padded cells.

The hot tears drying on his face, he turned back toward his former bedroom, closed his eyes and remembered back to the fateful day that everyone's troubles had begun…

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The golden sun shone through the beautiful, blue sky high over Odaiba. There were only a few white, fluffy clouds scattered across the afternoon summer sky, not enough to get in the way of the bright sunlight. Nearby, there was the steady hum of traffic flow coming from the busy intersections during the hectic 12:00 lunch hour. However, from where Tai Kamiya was lazily snoozing in the park in his favorite tree and whiling away the day, there was nothing hectic or busy about the hour._

_Just as he had awoken and was considering getting down from the tall oak tree he had been perched in, along happened by a certain helmet-clad brunette who he knew very well. _

_"Hey Sor," he lopsidedly simpered as he clumsily made his way off of his large, fat branch and touched down on the ground. He grinned as ran his fingers through his messily spiked chocolate-brown hair._

_"Hey Tai," she smiled. "What are you doing down here? I thought you said you hadn't finished your summer reading essay yet."_

_"Ah, well… You see… ," he started as he scratched his head._

_"Ohhh, I understand." A playfully sly grin crossed Sora's face. "Old habits, eh?"_

_"What do you mean by 'old habits?' I'll have you know that I'm mentally preparing myself for the assignment."_

_"'Mentally preparing?'" she teased. "That's a new one."_

_"Of course!" Tai retorted, ignoring her last statement. " These things take great care and thought! You can't just blindly jump into these things without having properly conditioned the mind for such a task!"_

_Sora placed her hands on her hips in the classic "girls know best" stance. "Shouldn't you have been 'mentally preparing' yourself a couple of weeks ago instead of three days before its due?"_

_"Arghh, who do you think you are, my mother? Anyway, not everyone has to be an insane overachiever and start the day it's assigned!"_

_Sora put her hand to her mouth in mock disbelief. "What do mean 'overachiever'?"_

_"Nothing…" Tai muttered under his breath. "Anyway, you never told me what you were doing here," he inquired, quickly changing the subject._

_"Oh, I was just on my way to meet Matt, Mimi, Izzy, T.K. and Kari for lunch. We were going to ask you along too, but I assumed that you would be too busy with the essay. And plus," she added, "I wouldn't want to interrupt your 'mental conditioning'"_

_"It's mental preparation," he nearly inaudibly grumbled. "And of course I'd rather eat with you guys than do some stupid English paper!"_

_"Ahhh, chronic procrastination as always," sighed Sora as she teasingly rolled her eyes and started off toward where she was meeting the gang for lunch._

_"Can we PLEASE talk about something else?" Tai pleaded as he followed in suit of his friend._

_As the two friends continued through the park, they passed by what seemed to be hundreds of people blissfully enjoying the afternoon. At the pond, young children were tearing pieces of bread off of their picnic sandwiched and feeding them to the multitude of various ducks swimming in the cool, refreshing water. Passing by one of the park's many grassy hills, they saw some teenagers their age laying down, idly watching clouds blow by. Mothers were pushing recently born infants in baby carriages and bikers and joggers were enjoying this late summer day exercising. All this time, the sun was still shining through the orange-turning tips of the magnificent oak and maple trees, where birds sang out lovely songs as Tai and Sora lightly conversed._

_"So why couldn't the rest of the group make it?" Tai posed._

_"Well Joe couldn't make it because he said he had a summer class right now that he couldn't miss," Sora replied._

_Tai sighed and mopped his forehead. "Figures Joe's the one to miss lunch so he can go to school in the summer."_

_"Hey, at least he cares about his education, unlike some people…"_

_Tai face dropped. "For crying out loud! Would you please get over that already?"_

_Sora smiled. "Sorry, couldn't help myself there."_

_"Rightttt…"_

_"Anyway, Davis was at soccer practice and Cody's still in France with his family._

_"All right. But what about Ken and Yolei?"_

_"Oh yeah, that's right. Well we tried calling them, but neither of them were home. So we just assumed that they were off somewhere again."_

_"Yeah…" Tai pondered. "They sure seem to be together a lot lately."_

_"Hmmm…" was Sora's response. She, like Tai, appeared to be in deep thought about something._

_For a minute, there was an awkward silence between the two companions filled only by the voices of the nearby people and the birds in the trees. It was broken shortly thereafter when Tai cut in with a question._

_"Hey, what time did you say you were going to meet them there?"_

_"Around noon, why?"_

_"It's 12:15 right now!" Tai exclaimed with a bit of panic as he raced off toward the group's favorite café at which they ate regularly._

_"Tai calm down, it's all right!" Sora called out uselessly as she dashed off after him._

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"Reminiscing?" asked a voice from behind where Tai had dazed off. 

"Huh, Wuh?" Tai asked as he awoke with a start. He turned around, facing a smiling handsome man draped in long, flowing white robes. From appearance, he'd be considered in around his mid twenties in Earth years, with short black hair and a seemingly impossibly lack of any trace of facial hair on his smooth, friendly face.

"You left a lot behind before you left, didn't you?"

Tai didn't answer, but turned back to where his younger sister was restlessly sleeping, tossing and turning on the bottom of his former bunk bed.

"It is understood that you left Earth very abruptly and didn't have time to tie up any loose ends. Also, it is noted that as a direct result of your death, the lives of your friends and family have been uprooted and turned upside down, am I correct?"

Tai slowly nodded, but continued to keep silent.

"Well it has been decided that you will be allowed to return to Earth for a short period of time, to help your friends through their problems and move on with their lives."

Tai was dumbstruck. "Wai… Wuh… What?"

The man in robes smiled. "You're going to return to Earth. However, not in your former physical self. For example, your friends won't be able to see or hear you. If they run into you, they'll pass right through you. However, you will be able to make things happen and to help them in some ways."

"Wait, hold on. What do you mean I'll be able to 'help in some ways' and 'make things happen'?"

"Oh, don't worry. It's kind of complicated to explain, but you'll get the hang of it when you're down there. You return to Earth tomorrow at sunrise. You will stay until either sunrise at this time next week or until you feel that you have helped all of your friends."

The robed man was about to leave when Tai stopped him.

"Hold on, but why are you letting me of all people do this?"

He paused and turned around to face Tai. "Oh, these things happen all of the time." An even bigger smile crossed his face. "Miracles don't happen on their own, you know." He paused again for a second. "Of course, it didn't hurt that you helped save the world at least twice. Good luck on your mission!" And with that the man in white robes disappeared to wherever he was to end up next.

"Thank you!" Tai called after him in all grins. This was the first time that he had smiled since after he had died. He turned back to Odaiba with a look of hope and content written all over his face.

_'Looks like I might be able to help after all.'_

_"If I could stay… then the night would give you up_

_Stay, and the day would keep its trust_

_Stay, and the night would be enough"_

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Now I can just see the reviews right now: "What kind of crazy whacked-out religion is this, D?" and "Come back to Earth? what is this, a Wim Wenders film?" So before you start attacking the religion of sorts in the story (cough cough Vor cough cough Subwoofer), I just want it to be known that for all practical purposes I'm not going yo dwell into the details. All I'm really concerned about is moving the plot along, so that's what I'm going to do. But if any of you have any advice or suggestions besides that (spelling, ideas, anything) feel free to give them! So please review and I'll be back with the next chapter hopefully by Friday the 7th. So until next time! **  
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	3. Red Lights, Grey Morning

**_Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry that took so long, but for some reason I had a hard time writing chapter 3. I'm hoping that the next chapters won't take so long, but I've got a bad feeling that they're going to take even longer. I'll try to pick up the pace, but I still want to have everything well thought out. Anyway, thank's to everyone from last chapters for the excellent review, I hope you guys like this one too! Also, thank's to General Subwoofer who took a look at the first draft of this chapter and edited/opinionized it (I took your suggestions, I hope you like the final result!) So as always, I don't own Digimon or the U2 song Stay (Faraway, So Close!). Anyway, I've talked for too long. Here's chapter 3!_  
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Chapter 3: Red Lights, Grey Morning**

_"Dear Sora, I'm sorry about what happened. I haven't felt this bad since the time I accidentally threw up in your hat and didn't tell you before you put it on. I know our relationship has been a little stormy lately. You say you love thunderstorms, so what's a few raindrops between friends? Love, Tai."_

Sora Takenouchi stared blankly at the words on her laptop computer screen. They were that of an e-mail that she had received from Tai the day of the first attack by Diaboromon, back when they had been angry at each other over a dispute they had about a hairpiece he had given her for her birthday. Although she never told anyone, she had saved that important message for all of these years. Whenever she was angry or having a bad day, she could always pull it up onto the screen and she'd feel better right away. In this case however, all the letter could do was serve as a bittersweet reminder of a lost past.

One thing that she had always wondered was just what Tai had meant by signing the letter "Love, Tai." She had pondered this question many times before. Did he mean "love" as in love between friends? Was it just one of Tai's millions of careless mistakes and he had meant to say "from" instead? Or was he subliminally or maybe even consciously suggesting that he viewed her as more than a friend? Sora sighed. It looked like she'd never really know the truth behind how he felt about her.

She glanced back at her black, rectangular digital clock: 6:30, less than an hour and a half before school began and, more importantly, when her unfinished history essay was due. She closed out of the e-mail she had been reading and directed her attention back to the paper about the similarities and differences between Islam, Christianity and Judaism. It was unlike her to let things like this get put off so late as she was usually prompt with completing homework. However, her study habits had seemed to slip a bit after recent events.

Putting the finishing touches on the essay just as the sun began to rise through the foggy clouds, she printed out the paper and began to prepare for school. After showering and dressing herself, she entered the kitchen to where she found a note from her mother who already had left for work at the flower shop. Sora made herself a quick breakfast before donning her hat, shoes and a light windbreaker then exiting through the front door. Regretfully, she didn't have time to pack herself a lunch. Further, she wasn't able to get any money from her mom, seeing that she had already left. 'Looks like another day without lunch,' she thought to herself. 'Oh well.' As she slowly made her way to school, she let her thoughts drift to back to the last day before her happy, carefree life was turned on end…

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Sora entered the café just in time to see a flustered Tai narrowly avoid collision with a waitress who's hands were stacked with what seemed to be dozen of plates. After he apologized, Sora caught up with her ungainly companion and the two made their way to the booth where the rest of their friends had been sitting._

_"Hey, guys!" greeted Matt. "I thought you said Tai couldn't make it, Sora"_

_"Oh, so you finished that English project that mom said you had to do before you went anywhere!" Kari happily inferred._

_Tai scratched the back of his head. "Well… Not exactly…"_

_"Ooh, back to your old ways again?" Izzy teased with a smile._

_"What do you mean 'my old ways?' It's not like you guys all have it done and ready either!"_

_"Actually I already finished mine" Matt happily announced._

_"Me too" Izzy added._

_"Same here" confirmed Sora._

_"What about you Mimi?" inquired Izzy._

_"Hmmm, what's that?" asked Mimi, apparently breaking away from a trance._

_"Your summer reading assignment." Matt reminded._

_"Oh, that. Yeah, that's done…" Mimi replied, drifting back into deep thought._

_"Okay, fine! But… At least… T.K didn't do it!"_

_"That's because I'm two grades younger than you, genius," Matt's younger brother sarcastically pointed out._

_"OKAY, OKAY! YOU WIN! I'M A SLACKER!" Tai admitted in defeat. "Are you HAPPY now?"_

_"Yep!" Matt agreed._

_"Quite," responded Sora_

_"Couldn't have said it better!" remarked Izzy._

_"Ugh, can we please talk about something else?" pleaded Tai in a moaning groan, his face drooping with low spirits._

_As if right on cue (and much to Tai's relief) their waitress arrived at their table and took everyone's orders. As the friends waited for their lunch to come, they made conversation._

_"So everyone, we're going to be big bad juniors, eh?" Everyone minus T.K. and Kari nodded in agreement with Matt's statement._

_"Ah, that's right!" Sora smiled, turning to their two younger friends. "You guys are going to be freshmen!"_

_"Yeah," Kari and T.K. somewhat shyly nodded in unison._

_Izzy grinned. "First year as high-schoolers. God, I remember our first year…"_

_"Don't worry," assured Matt. "We've got your backs!"_

_"Well at least maybe…" pondered Tai._

_"What do you mean 'maybe?'" Kari asked with a look of mock disgust on her face._

_"I'm not sure. There used to these older kids who would push us into lockers and I was just thinking that might be pretty funny to watch…"_

_"Tai, you terrible brother!" Sora ranted as she gave Tai a shove._

_"Ow, Ow!" I was just joking!" he pleaded as he rubbed his arm where Sora has pushed him_

_"Say Mimi," Matt asked changing the subject, "You've been pretty quiet this whole time. You feeling alright?"_

_"Uhh…" Mimi thought as she broke off from her thoughts and again turned to her friends. "Yeah. I'm fine."_

_"Hey, where's that Mark kid you're going out with?" Izzy inquired. "You always seem to be together."_

_"Oh… Mark… He's gone right now."_

_Sora silently looked at Mimi with an expression of concern on her face._

_"Yeah, how's it going with you two?" Tai yawned as he stretched his arms out._

_"Uhh… Everything's going great," Mimi quickly assured everyone. She looked at a non-existing watch on her arm, getting up and moving toward the end of the booth. "Thanks for everything guys, but I've got to go! See you later!"_

_"Wait… Mimi… What about your lunch!" Tai called after the pink-haired girl, but it was no use. Mimi had already rushed out the door, right past the confused waitress who was carrying the group their meals._

_What do you think that was about?" Kari wondered just as the food arrived._

_"I'm not sure, but I'm sure going to find out," assured a worried Sora beginning to get out of her seat to chase after her best friend._

_"Wait Sor'!" called Tai as he put his hand up. "Let her go. She probably just needs time to herself for whatever reason. You can catch her later."_

_"Hmmm…" an unconvinced Sora sighed as she uneasily sat back down and took her plate from the server. "Maybe you're right."_

_"It's weird, she just doesn't seem like herself lately," observed Matt as he took a bite into his turkey sandwich._

_"Maybe she's just having a bit of a rough time right now with Mike. That can happen for a while after a relationship just starts." Tai wisely pointed out, between spoonfuls of tomato soup._

_Matt rolled his eyes "When did Tai "I've never had a girlfriend" Kamiya, all of a sudden proclaim himself our resident relationship expert?_

_Tai put his head down onto the table "Arghh! What is today, National 'Let's personally attack Tai' day?"_

_"National 'Let's personally attack Tai' day. Hmmm, I like it…" Izzy thought, scratching his chin._

_"What wonderful friends I have" groaned Tai, sounding quite like a deflated balloon._

_The conversation got better for Tai from there, as they began talking about classes, teachers, lunch food, the occasional teasing of T.K and Kari's "relationship," the weather, sports, news and sometimes just completely random topics. After everyone finished their lunches, the friends said their goodbyes and parted in their own directions. Sora was about to leave the shop when a certain messy brown-haired companion approached her._

_"So Sora, what are you doing for the rest of the day?" Tai inquired._

_Sora spun around to face him. "Oh I don't know. I'll probably just back to the park and see if anyone's there or maybe just hang around."_

_Tai scratched the back of his head. "Mind if I join you?"_

_Sora smiled. "So you've completely given up on the reading assignment?"_

_"I SWEAR TO GOD, the next person to ask about that friggin assignment…" Tai fumed, mumbling to himself._

_Sora giggled. "I'm only kidding, Tai! It's just really funny to watch you get mad."_

_Tai face-dropped. "Why me?" he grumbled as the two set off._

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"Ahhh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" 

Sora looked up at a terrified Mimi who she had just crashed into, knocking Sora to the sidewalk pavement.

"Meems, it's okay! It's just me!"

Mimi looked down with relief at her best friend. "Oh… Sora… it's you." She helped her fallen friend up.

Sora smiled. "Sorry about that. I was just in a bit of a daze there for a minute."

Mimi weakly returned a grin. "Yeah, me too. I guess we were both a bit… preoccupied there." She turned around and saw her gruff-looking dirty-blond boyfriend waiting for her on the steps of their old-fashioned three-story high school. "Uhh, look Sora. I've got to go right now. Catch you later!" And with that, she sped off.

"Wait, Mimi!" Sora once again uselessly called off to her friend.

"Still worried about Mimi?" a familiar voice asked from behind her. Sora spun around to face a concerned Matt, looking off toward the direction Mimi had run off.

"Yeah…" she thought out loud. Sora looked toward the ground. "There's just something about that Mark kid that I don't like."

"I know what you mean." Matt looked down. "Something just doesn't seem right. First Mimi starts acting weird and starts shutting

"I was meaning to talk to her about how she's been acting lately, but I keep getting sidetracked by…"

Sora paused for a moment. There was an awkward silence for a moment, which was immediately ended by the blaringly loud ringing of the school bell from across the street.

"Well anyway," Sora started again, "I'll talk to Mimi soon. She's my best friend, and it's my duty to make sure everything's all right."

Matt and Sora said their goodbyes and made off in separate directions. When Sora crossed the busy street, navigated through the halls and got to her locker, she was surprised to see a crisp, freshly printed $10 bill neatly laid on the top of the books that occupied the space.

'How lucky,' she thought to herself with a smile. 'Looks like there's a lunch in my future after all.'

Unbeknown to her, her dearly departed friend was invisibly watching her from two lockers down. 'Luck,' he thought to himself as he pocketed a wallet full of fresh money. He grinned as a smiling Sora made her way to chemistry. 'Luck had nothing to do with it.'

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I'm sorry if you thought that was kind of a lame ending (I sure did). If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it any better or even annoying spelling/grammar mistakes (I'm sure there are) please tell me! As always, please review! I'll try to be back with chapter 4 in about a week or so (might be a bit more, school's starting to pick up more). If it seems like its been a really long time since I've updated, don't freak out. I haven't forgotten about it or abandoned it, it's just my life (yeah the one outside of fanfiction) is busy and there are other things taking priority like school, homework, my love life (hears laughs in background). Anyway, thank's again for all the great reviews from chaps 1-2 and see you next time!   
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